The heart of America is broken

https://www.npr.org/sections/trump-impeachment-trial-live-updates/2021/02/10/966588090/the-footage-is-horrific-senators-react-to-gripping-new-video-of-capitol-riotWASHINGTON, DC – FEBRUARY 10. 2021 (Photo by Drew Angerer/Getty Images)

Today is the second day of the second impeachment trail against former US President Donald Trump. The charge is “Incitement of a Riot at the US Capitol building” on January 6, 2021. It was a day that will live in infamy in America’s history, when a large crowd of extremist Trump supporters stormed the Capitol and intended to harm or kill Vice President Mike Pence, Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi, and any other members of Congress who they found. The rioters had been incited toward violence for months by Trump, who kept up a steady stream of lies about the results of the 2020 presidential election. Despite no evidence whatsoever, he falsely claimed that the Democratic party “stole the election” from him. Then January 6th happened, the day the election results from all the states were to be certified by the Congress.

“It was one of the roughest days of our life,” he said. “We didn’t realize how much at risk we were. You knew we were at risk, but we didn’t know it was that much. I mean, literally, we could have been all wiped out.” Senator Benjamin L. Cardin

https://www.nytimes.com/2021/02/10/us/politics/impeachment-violence-senate.html

The second impeachment trial is being streamed live for the public this week on national news outlets.  I listened to the Democratic team of lawmakers as they took turns describing, in graphic detail, all the events of that terrible day. They played many videos containing footage showing the mob approaching and breaking into the Capitol building and various chambers, including the Senate floor itself. They smashed windows, pillaged and terrorized not only many members of Congress, but their families, many staff members, and journalists who were inside the Capitol that day. There was also video footage that hadn’t been shown to the public before, of the Capitol police, and later also the Metropolitan Police officers as they were beaten and hurt by the rioters. 140 police officers were hurt that day, and three died because of the insurrection.

“It was really horrifying what happened. You know, I think the House team really put forth a very strong connecting of the dots. I don’t see how you can watch any of this and listen to their presentation and not conclude that Trump bears tremendous responsibility for what happened,” Sen. Mazie Hirono, D-Hawaii, told reporters.

https://www.npr.org/sections/trump-impeachment-trial-live-updates/2021/02/10/966588090/the-footage-is-horrific-senators-react-to-gripping-new-video-of-capitol-riot

The impeachment prosecution team presented their evidence in a direct, concise, and factual manner. I know I am not alone in saying that the evidence of Trump’s dereliction of his duty, taken under oath as Commander in Chief of the United States, is indisputable. Any sane human being, upon hearing the evidence, listening and watching the numerous videos, and reading what Trump himself actually said to his extremist supporters, would have to agree that this man is absolutely guilty of inciting a mob to violent insurrection against the United States government.

And yet, the most atrocious part of this whole story is the fact that the overwhelming majority of the Republican senators, the very people who were in that Senate chamber when the rioters were smashing in the windows and attempting to get in in order to harm and or kill them, once both sides have argued their case, will vote to NOT impeach Trump. They will NOT hold him accountable for this highest crime against the US Constitution, against all the members of the House and Senate, and against everything that being the President of the United States of America stands for. Those senators, by their very refusal to impeach Trump, are, in my opinion, accomplices to his crime. They too, must be held accountable, and justice must be served.

Since January 6 of this year, I have been alternately in states of shock, anger, and grief regarding the condition of our country. America has had a long slide from its pedestal on the world stage, for many years now. But the past four years of Trump’s presidency has pushed it from a slide to the edge of a very tall cliff. Hearing and seeing the evidence of this cliff today forced Americans who are still sane to re-live that horrific day. We are staring at our collective shadow, and it is as ugly as it gets—terrifyingly so. Some of our leaders have sold their souls to the devil, which is the collective negativity created by unbridled greed and lust for power. It is the Beast of the Book of Revelation, on display for all who have eyes to see and ears to hear.

There are those who listened or watched all the evidence presented today, and yet still deny what they heard as untrue, who are stubbornly holding to Trump’s lies of a stolen election, and who continue to feed the shadow beast of hatred, white supremacy, and ignorance. There are far too many ignorant, deeply asleep humans who call themselves Americans. I think the most perplexing question of all is: How can the ones who are still so blind, deaf and asleep, awaken? The heart of America is broken. What will it take to heal it? Is it even possible at this point? Will we continue to be literally split down the middle in an unbelievable tension of polarization? What will happen once that tension breaks completely?

It is time for the American people to become more mature. As a country, we’ve been in primary school for long enough. We must graduate and become adults now, in all ways. At a moment like this, it feels nearly impossible that we will manage to do this in time to avert complete catastrophe. And yet, becoming mature and accepting the truth, which is plainly in front of our faces, is exactly what we must do. For if we do not, our fate will be sealed and the United States will become extinct, a relic much like the Roman Empire when it fell.

References: 

https://www.nytimes.com/live/2021/02/10/us/impeachment-trial/stacey-plaskett-the-house-delegate-from-the-us-virgin-islands-gets-a-high-profile-role-at-the-trial

https://www.nytimes.com/video/players/offsite/index.html?videoId=100000007598512

https://www.npr.org/sections/trump-impeachment-trial-live-updates/2021/02/10/966588090/the-footage-is-horrific-senators-react-to-gripping-new-video-of-capitol-riot

Peace, hope & trust for 2021

Happy holidays, Dear Readers! This post has been a long time coming, my apologies for that. The past four months have been—let’s just say A LOT—and I have struggled with writing on this blog.

Now comes the end of 2020, a year in which so much changed for humanity and our beloved planet. No matter where you were on Earth this year, most likely you felt the changes in myriad ways. We were changed from subatomic to cosmic levels—literally the atmosphere, the air we breathe, the way we live our lives, and the way we see one another all shifted during 2020.

Those we have lost this year have left Earth, but they live on through our memories.

This year we collectively became aware of the presence of death in a whole other dimension than previously. Never before in living history were so many humans taken from their lives on Earth at once as this year. The Covid-19 virus has taken over 1 million, 642,000 people from the Earth this year. Depending on who you talk to, which news outlets and social media sites you read, and what your personal belief system is, this information will affect you in various ways. Regardless, I think we can still agree that an enormous number of souls left the planet, and the sheer number of deaths is a force that humanity has been reckoning with in ways large and small this year.

Along with the natural grief and sorrow that death brings, I believe that having to face so much death this year has forced us to grow up somewhat about this subject, especially in western countries. I live in the United States, which has by far experienced the most infections and deaths from the virus. It seems that death has been a weird, taboo subject for Americans. We don’t like to talk or think about it, and in fact many people spend most of their lives doing everything possible to deny and avoid the subject altogether. Which is really quite strange, considering that it is surely going to happen to every single one of us at some point in our lives. Why then, is there such terrific fear around such a natural process? Everyone is born, lives for a limited amount of time, and then dies. Is it really such a frightening experience? We humans experience death all the time. We squash bugs, run over squirrels, cut down trees, and eat many millions of slaughtered and processed animals every single day. Others hunt for their own food, or raise and slaughter their own poultry, hogs, cattle and sheep. This has been humanity’s way of living for untold thousands of years. Most people don’t even think twice about killing another life in order to further their own. Death is present all the time in the world. Why then, is it so uncomfortable for us to face our own, or that of those we love?

Perhaps you have experienced death during 2020, of someone close to you or someone you knew slightly. Or you read and heard many stories of people who died this year. Some stories were tragic, others were poignant and beautiful. Some died while still quite young, while many who died had lived long lives. Death, like birth, is a uniquely individual experience, and simultaneously a universal one. It is a process, and depending on how it is experienced, can be beautiful and simple, or painful and complicated. Or both. Many of the stories I heard this year mentioned how grateful the narrator was for their beloved and the time they had with those who passed on. The biggest lesson to come out of this year filled with global death, seems to be the lesson of making the most of the time you’ve got while you are alive. Nobody knows exactly how long we’ve got in these physical bodies once we arrive. The absolute best thing we can do with our time on Earth is to make the most of every day. We needn’t do incredible feats to awe the masses (although that’s great too), because I think the whole point of being alive is to appreciate that fact and learn how to love yourself and everyone and everything else.

Dear Readers, I wish you the very best life you can imagine living for the new year of 2021. Appreciate everything, from the moment you awaken in the morning, until you fall asleep at night. See everyone else as your brothers and sisters, both human and non-human. Notice the incredible quality of the sun’s light now as it shines upon us all. Feel reverence for the night sky and all our star families who are helping those of us living on Earth’s surface. Become increasingly aware of the amazing gift we are given to live on this gorgeous planet. Help and love your family, friends, neighbors and those you don’t personally know. We are one family, and have one planet which is our common home. Make the most beautiful life possible for yourself and your beloveds in 2021. Become fearless and love it all.

August Angst

These are very strange days indeed, these brutal August days. Forgive me for stating the obvious, but clearly we are living in extraordinary times across the board. It is safe to say that no one alive on Earth has ever faced what we are now facing on the daily. How do we retain our sanity in the midst of such unprecedented chaos?

As I often do on this blog, I’d like to share a personal story of what’s happening in my own life at this moment. This spring, before the pandemic upended our entire society, I applied and was accepted into a Masters of Teaching graduate program at University of Colorado, Denver. I was scared, excited, and had to work through relentless mindtalk about my ability to accomplish such a massive undertaking. I’m sure that, for some, getting a master’s degree is simply the next item on their life’s to-do list. But not for me. I’ve sort of done my life in a weird reverse order in some ways, therefore working towards higher degrees wasn’t on my radar until mid-life. That’s where I am now.

The fall semester of 2020 started this week. After a very uncertain summer, the university decided that most courses would be held online, either asynchronous or remote, which means we all join a Zoom meeting once a week. I’m sure that many of you are experiencing similar ways of meeting, either as students, for your jobs, or by helping your children with their own online classes. Will this become the new normal for education? Nobody yet knows. We are going into this school year with myriad questions, but not many answers.

Four years ago, I returned to university to finish up my bachelor’s degree that I never completed back in the days of my twenties. For two and a half years, I loved going to classes, studying for exams, reading lots of books and scholarly articles, and writing many papers. I took classes I was interested in and enjoyed. School was great! I was actually sad when it was over. Then I took a year to contemplate what I should do with that degree, what path was next in my life?

https://studentlifethespot.wordpress.com/2013/04/12/10-inspirational-quotes-for-students/larson/

As I looked and reflected deeply within, the idea of becoming a licensed teacher kept coming up, and even as I shrugged it off or tried to ignore it, that invitation would not leave me. I used many arguments against the voice. What about my age? I’m not in my twenties and full of invincibility, I told it. Didn’t matter. What about all the crap that teachers have to put up with in public education? They complain all the time about the low pay, long hours, fights with administrators, and badly behaving students. Didn’t matter, the invitation remained. What about the amount of work it will be to actually do the master’s program? And the internships- I will have to borrow money in order to work for free at a school for two semesters? And the cost of grad school?? Yikes. My mind would spin out into these whining rants over and over.

And yet. Whenever I took a deep breath and remembered my students from the past year of being a literacy tutor, their faces, sweet smiles and stories would calm my mind. Every single time my mind would mess with me, then I’d think of those kids and drop down into my heart space. What I know, deep inside, is that those kids needed me last year. There will be others who will also need me to be with them, helping them to learn, to cope, to grow through their childhoods in good ways. If I give up before I start, I am letting them down. And I cannot, in good conscience, do that to them.

So, here I am, the first week of this crazy semester, trying to figure out how to get my footing as I begin this ascent. How to organize my time with four online classes? Only one has a formal meeting day and time for the 2 hours, 45 minutes of Zoom class (ouch). The others have syllabi, schedules for readings, assignments and due dates, and discussion threads. Without having to leave my apartment to go to campus and meet in person, it’s up to me to figure out how long each day should I devote to each course, to the readings (most of which are done on my laptop), and to taking notes (in a Word doc? In a notebook with a pen?).  Geez… I sort of feel like I’m back to the basics of how to do school. Then, there ‘s TECHNOLOGY.  Oh my goodness, it is more complex than ever!  The more apps and fixes and hacks the techies create (supposedly to help students) the harder and more difficult it seems to become. Oy.

As I struggle through each day of this longest, hottest, strangest summer ever, there are many moments when I either want to complain, give up or break down. At those moments, what seems to help the most is remembering that there are many millions of other people who are going through similar or way harder struggles than me. None of us are immune to the pain and hardship of these days. My heart is breaking for the folks in California, and my own Colorado, who are running from the wildfires during the extreme heat and dry winds of August. We’ve been here before, during the past decade of drought and extreme weather conditions. The global climate catastrophe hasn’t gone away just because the world is engulfed in the 2020 pandemic.

Dear Readers, are you finding good ways to cope with your own lives and challenges? This unusual summer will soon give way to perhaps a beyond unusual autumn. I wish you all strength, courage and loving guidance to be with you, as you traverse your individual paths and we collectively move into the unwritten future. Keep your chin up!